Friendship

I let a friend borrow a lot of money. Now, it's looking like I might never get that money back. When I lent the money, my attitude was consider it a gift. But now it's hard to see it that way. Why? Because I'm in alot of debt myself. I thought I'd be able to pay off the stuff in like 6 months. It's a year later and I still owe pretty much the same amount of money. I don't know if I could have done any thing differently. It's pretty important to me to not hold worldly goods as more important than friendships. So when the need was presented, I responded. But now that I realize I might not get paid back, I feel a lot less friendly to this person. This is an emotion I didn't expect. I guess it's hard to remain friends in the same way, when you feel that someone hasn't come clean with you. It's also hard everytime you get the bill and you realize you might never pay it off. Yeah the money is gone, but I have reminders every day and every month that I have to try to do this balance transfer, borrow more money from elsewhere and so on. Ultimately though, I will let it go. I know that God is my provider and he'll take care of me even if I sometimes make bad decisions. Hopefully he'll help me truly forgive and move on with my friend.